


Ignite;

by MistyMoon



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, a "what i think would happen in da4" fic, mage inquisitor, other tags will be added as i write the story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-28 07:41:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5083507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyMoon/pseuds/MistyMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ig·nite /iɡˈnīt/<br/>verb<br/>catch fire or cause to catch fire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the end of all things;

**Author's Note:**

> Somewhat based on feynite's Looking Glass

It is dark.  
  
The fire doesn't burn like it used to; you cannot remember the sensation. You haven't healed and the wounds still bleed, but you don't hesitate.  
  
You force yourself up.  
_He's still here_ , it whispers, _it's not over yet_.  
  
There's light; it ignites.  
You ignite.


	2. leave the horror here;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You have played  
> (I think)  
> And broke the toys you were fondest of  
> And are a little tired now;  
> Tired of things that break and-  
> Just tired.”  
> -E.E. Cummings

There is light, but not for long.

He is shattering all that is in his way, tearing it all apart.

All he wants is to undo his mistake, to bring back what he lost, to bring back what your people lost.  
But that means putting an end to this world and you can’t let that let that happen.

You promised to save him, to protect him from himself at all costs.  
_He does not deserve your kindness_ , it whispers, _he must pay for what he did against your people, our people_.

That was enough for you.

You kept walking, ignoring the bodies, ignoring the smell of death that followed you wherever you went, ignoring the people you lost, the people who gave all of them to help you save him.  
All of them, gone.

 _It’s close_ , it whispers, _he’s close_.  
And you know it; you can feel him, feel all the power coming from him.

The world is breaking apart; slowly, a transition from the peace and quiet into the chaos he started.

It was not what you expected.

You expected this unending chaos to last a second, only to be followed by the end of the world you know.

This was not that simple.

It was the very definition of chaos.

And you had to stop it at all costs.  
Even if it meant having to kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally some context to what tf is going on lmao - sorry for the wait i forgot this fic existed but !!! im already writing chapter three so do not worry  
> also, will try to make these longer in the future but im trying my best to not use technical terms since technical terms in the da universe are not my thing lmao im not a dragon age specialist im just a trash solavellan shipper lmao  
> and i have a tumblr if you wanna check it out - aromanticronan.tumblr.com


	3. if you must;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A past left unresolved  
> Will eat you from within  
> To face the pain and anger  
> Where does one begin?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "chapter 3 will be longer" i said  
> i lied  
> anyway enjoy the calm before the almost there storm

Feelings are an abstract concept; they cannot be seen, only felt.  
But they can be _shown_ , can be shared in some way. Your joy could be someone else's joy, if you allowed it to be. But that also applied to other feelings; anger, pain, sorrow. That way, you allowed other people to understand you a bit more.  
It might be why no one truly knows who you are, Lavellan.  
  
They are often associated with humanity; the act of feeling is considered to be an important part of being human. Without them, you are barely anything.  
  
But it is not that simple.  
Some people show their feelings more than others. That's a fact, but your society has imposed limits; those who show too much are made fun of, while those who barely show any are said to not have a heart  
  
Did the wolf take your heart, Lavellan?  
  
-  
  
His eyes have never been so blue.  
They look cold, distant. As if he was not himself. As if he was not Solas, but yes Fen'Harel.  
The thought makes you shiver.  
  
"Vhenan," He said, roughness in his voice. "I told you not to come after me."  
  
You just can't keep going.  
From the beginning, the plan was to stop Solas from destroying the world, even if you had to kill him in the end. You thought you'd be able to do it.  
Now you're not so sure.  
  
Even after all he's done, he's still Solas. He's still the mage you met the day this whole thing started. The man that impressed you with his knowledge of the Fade. Still the man you fell in love with.  
Ending his life would mean ending a part of yours.  
  
 _You fell in love with a god_ , it whispers, _now you must pay the price_.  
  
You lost him once, when you defeated Corypheus and after three years of being together, he left. He just vanished, without saying anything.  
The pain made you lose yourself in it; there was no longer Inquisitor Lavellan nor Yasmin of clan Lavellan. There was only you. Yasmin. The name Lavellan was only for the brave, the bold. You were those things no longer.  
  
You got back up, eventually. The world still needed you, and your silly love problems did not matter to them. Nothing mattered to them, except their own survival. Even if you were physically hurt, they would keep wanting your help.  
It frustrated you.  
  
The name Lavellan was no longer yours, but you pretended it was. Because of them. Rejecting your name would show them a weak point, which they would take advantage of. You would not allow it.  
There were many things you hid because of them; not once did you say anything about not wanting to be known as the Herald of Andraste, about hating to sympathize with the people who murdered most of your people, about not wanting the responsibility that came with being Inquisitor, about not wanting to have big titles, about not wanting to be _anything_. Because Solas was the closest thing you had to family after clan Lavellan's death, and he decided to leave you when you needed him the most.  
Being Inquisitor was not only about war strategies and politics; it was also about making the people respect you, make them like you. And they did, but that came with a price.  
A price you paid when you let them shove their culture, their beliefs, down your throat.  
Oh, you are _not_ Lavellan; you will _never_ be Lavellan again.  
  
All that's left now are fancy titles and an empty spot in your chest.  
  
Do you miss _feeling_ , Yasmin?


End file.
